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Joesixpack
Afterschooler
| Joined: | Mon Nov 26th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southwest WA, USA |
| Posts: | 89 |
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Posted: Sat Sep 27th, 2008 09:29 pm |
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Sorry I've been absent from the discussion for so long. I've been having some family difficulties of late and the upshot is that my wife and I are now seperated.
Our son is taking it very well, considering. My wife and I are trying to make things as easy as possible for him. It's funny, about the only common ground we have at this point is our parenting. She's a great mom and she feels I'm a good dad, so we're able to still connect on that level. Unfortunately, that's not going to make up for all the other problems we have with each other. Sadly, I've been seeing this coming for a long time. When she suggested I move out last month, I didn't argue, I knew it was our only option.
I've got my son three or four days per week depending on our work schedule. We're two weeks into this and I'm cautiously optimistic, but I imagine that there are plenty of pitfalls just over the horizon.
If anyone on this board has any advice on how best to deal with this, or any insight about how kids can be expected to react, I'd love to hear them.
Thanks,
____________________
"Up in Harlem, at a table for two,
There were four of us, me, yo' Big Feet, and you.
Form your ankles up, you sure are sweet,
but from there down there's just too much feet"
Fats Waller, "Your Feet's Too Big"
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angel
Administrator
| Joined: | Mon Apr 9th, 2007 |
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| Posts: | 571 |
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Posted: Sun Sep 28th, 2008 12:19 am |
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Joe, I'm so very sorry to hear about your situation.
Obviously, the best thing for your son would be if you and your wife could work it out. But at this point it doesn't sound like that is going to be possible.
I've never been in this situation, but from listening to counseling your child needs to be reassured that he is loved and that he is in no way the cause of the breakup. I'm sure this must be so confusing for your son because his own identity is so tightly linked to the family unit. It is a good thing that you and your wife are on civil terms. This will probably make things easier for your son.
I think he needs a lot of attention and daddy & son time. He also may need some counseling.
I wish you luck. I'm sure this is not easy. I wish I could be of more help.
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Joesixpack
Afterschooler
| Joined: | Mon Nov 26th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southwest WA, USA |
| Posts: | 89 |
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Posted: Sun Sep 28th, 2008 02:17 pm |
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Thanks for the kind words, Angel. My son and I are getting a lot of time together now. And yes, good advice about reassuring the little boy. We've both been doing a lot of that with him.
I really do wish we could work things out, but you were right when you said it's not very likely at this stage.
____________________
"Up in Harlem, at a table for two,
There were four of us, me, yo' Big Feet, and you.
Form your ankles up, you sure are sweet,
but from there down there's just too much feet"
Fats Waller, "Your Feet's Too Big"
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Cassie
Afterschooler
| Joined: | Thu Feb 22nd, 2007 |
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| Posts: | 502 |
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Posted: Tue Sep 30th, 2008 05:43 pm |
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Joe,
Sorry to hear the news and sorry for the difficulties you are having. I hope that all works out for the best for your family. The support both you and your wife give to your son will go a long way during these hard times.
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Joesixpack
Afterschooler
| Joined: | Mon Nov 26th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southwest WA, USA |
| Posts: | 89 |
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Posted: Fri Oct 17th, 2008 03:58 pm |
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Just a quick update, things have been going pretty smootly with my seperation. My son is adjusting to it in a healthy way. My wife and I are on good terms as well, though not much likelyhood of a reconcilliation. We are working together well, though, so that's a good thing.
The boy had a few disciplin problems in school early on, but he seems to be on a much more even keel. Sadly, though, I'm very disapointed with his school. his gifted class meets one afternoon per week, not nearly enough for his interest.
____________________
"Up in Harlem, at a table for two,
There were four of us, me, yo' Big Feet, and you.
Form your ankles up, you sure are sweet,
but from there down there's just too much feet"
Fats Waller, "Your Feet's Too Big"
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AmyZ
Administrator
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Posted: Sat Oct 18th, 2008 03:22 am |
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Oh, goodness, Joe! I have been offline for a while and just saw this--I'm so sorry for the sad news but kids are resilliant and I'm sure your son will do well in the end with a lot of love from both you and his mom. I wish I had some sage advice but all I can think of is to keep loving him as I know you do and go with the flow.
Many good wishes to you all.
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